Her footsteps echoed in the stairwell. She could smell the stale, closed air punctuated by brief assaults of urine. Stains crept up the wall, highlighting past abuses. As she climbed the vapors clung to her clothing and she felt like she might gag.
Her heart beat rapidly as she contemplated each step up the curving stones. Was this the right decision? Could there be another option? The shadows that haunted her soul flickered through her mind and her depression began to eat away at her resolve.
She climbed. Her long skirt twitched against her bare legs, causing the hairs to rise up in protest. She hadn’t bothered to put on shoes and the icy cold stones bit maliciously at her bruised and battered feet.
At the top of the stairwell she was confronted with an ancient oak door. The hinges were thick black iron and the handle an ornate curved piece. It was an oddly beautiful door for such a dark and ominous space. She grasped the handle and pulled.
The door swung open, screaming in protest, the hinges sitting inert for so long they had forgotten their purpose. She stepped forward, through the arched stone doorway, to a parapet overlooking the inner courtyard.
Everything was quiet. The moon shone full and lustrous in the velvet sky. A few stars had made their appearance, sparkling and glittering like crystals on a chandelier. She raised her face and drank in the sweet, fresh, cool night air.
Stepping up on the ledge she whispered, “I’m sorry” and let herself fall forward to the ground below.
***
A crowd of frightened patients clustered the gate to the courtyard. The reflective bands on the police officers vest caught the light intermittently, highlighting their location briefly.
They watched as a nurse approached one officer crouching near the body. He stood and spoke to her for a moment, showing her something that had been found clutched in the hand of the woman. The nurse bowed her head and said, “I had such great hopes she was turning a corner” before turning and walking away.
This post is part of the Red Writing Hood. This week’s challenge was to pick one of two images and write something inspired from that image. This is the image I chose:
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I loved this writing! you have incredible word choice with creates a perfect image. Such vivid verbs! plus the personification of the door “screaming” in protest? Oh it fit so well with what was going on in the character’s mind! This was amazing!
This had the tinge of surprise for me. I enjoyed the way you have described the character’s state of mind and the other elements. Great imagination. i don’t understand how the picture fits this story though but i hope that i am limiting myself from the things that you saw or felt while writing this. Enjoyed the write..
Have a great weekend.
the picture has to do with the ending and what the police officer found clutched in her hand. That and the nurse’s comment about her.
I might expand this with what happens previous to this scene.
Fantastic imagery. I was shocked when she jumped–which I think you wanted me to be.
As the reader, I would love glimmers of what is inside of her head. Past abuses? Ghosts? What do those look like? How do they play out/feel in this moment?
You have def. set the stage for a larger story. Keep writing!
I hadn’t planned on expanding it but I might. I have my other main story building so I’m not sure if I can deride my creativity
Great writing! I really thought from the images you created that you had chosen the other picture. I was surprised to see this one.
This totally gave me the chills. The details of the stairs were fabulous.
WOW! you are an amazing writer. i love your imagery. I love the line “the door swung open, screaming in protest.” its almost like the door was a voice inside her head that she struggled to ignore.
love it. great job.
The shadows that haunted her soul flickered through her mind and her depression began to eat away at her resolve.
My favorite line from the story, the ending surprised me. My only advice, to me, the whole after part of her falling didn’t really jive with the story. I felt disconnected with that part, even though it is all beautifully written. I love your associations and vivid descriptions really have me imagining everything.
thanks for the critique. I’m considering expanding it so it flows a little better. Have to wait and see what my muse says to me